Now that I have your attention, here it is: It's a two-card combo, Kaervek's Spite + The Cheese Stands Alone (from Unglued). Or, even better, Kaervek's Spite + Academy Rector. Of course, it isn't tournament legal due to the Unglued card, but it would be kick ass if it was:

1 Black Lotus
1 Mana Crypt
1 Mox Jet
1 Mox Pearl
2 Powder Keg
1 Zuran Orb

4 Dark Ritual
1 Demonic Consultation
1 Demonic Tutor
4 Duress
4 Kaervek's Spite
1 Vampiric Tutor
1 Yawgmoth's Will

4 Abeyance
4 Academy Rector
1 Balance
2 Seal of Cleansing
4 The Cheese Stands Alone

4 Caves of Koilos
3 Peat Bog
3 Phyrexian Tower
4 Scrubland
5 Swamp
3 Plains

You can win by hard casting The Cheese Stands Alone, then casting Kaervek's Spite in response (Kaervek's Spite will resolve first, discarding your hand and sacrificing all of your permanents, then The Cheese Stands Alone will resolve and will be your only permanent in play).

The Cheese Stands Alone
Enchantment
4WW
When you control no cards in play other than ~this~ and have no cards in your hand, you win the game.

You could also just cast Kaervek's Spite with an Academy Rector in play for the win. (Discard your hand and sacrifice all of your permanents including Academy Rector, then put The Cheese Stands Alone into play with your Rector).

Or, you could put 8 mana into your mana pool with a Zuran Orb and a Powder Keg in play, and a Balance and The Cheese Stands Alone in your hand. Cast Balance, sacrifice all of your land to the Zuran Orb, then Keg for zero, destroying all of your artifacts. Finally, hard cast The Cheese Stands Alone (the last card in your hand) for the win.

This last win condition is the reason I didn't put Mana Vault or Sol Ring in my deck, I wanted all the artifacts save Powder Keg to have a casting cost of zero so I could keg them away and clear my side of the board of permanents. The only other non-land permanents in my deck are the Academy Rectors and Seal of Cleansing (which can target one of my own artifacts if I need to get it off the board). Seal of Cleasing may not even be necessary, because if my opponent had something like Ivory Mask in play I could still win (targeting myself with Kaervek's Spite if need be).

It has 4 Duress + 4 Abeyance main deck versus counters. All it really needs to force through is a Kaervek's Spite and/or a The Cheese Stands Alone. (If there's an Academy Rector in play and a Kaervek's Spite resolves it's game. Unless, of course, the opponent has a Tormod's Crypt or Planar Void in play or other such graveyard removal cards). Plus, Phyrexian Tower provides an uncounterable way to sacrifice an Academy Rector (and provide two black mana to boot, two thirds of the casting cost of Kaervek's Spite).

Demonic Consultation is awesome in this deck because you'll always go for the kill card (Kaervek's Spite) or sometihng to push it through (Duress or Abeyance) and there are four of each in the deck.

Yawgmoth's Will lets you replay everything (including Dark Rituals) if you can't "go off" the first time around.

I know I've wasted a lot of time and energy on a deck that will never see play outside of an Unglued tournament, but it was fun!