It seems like some people have 2 sides to them. In life, there are those people that are always happy. They seem to be the exception to the rule. Of course, I have never been close with a constantly happy person so I cannot say this with any assurance. But I have noticed two faces to me. On one side, I am extremely greedy, and will sacrifice (some) of my morals to accommodate that. But on the other side, I try to be nice to people instead of coming off as an asshole, which is what most people perceive me as. I realize I have been being looked at as a hard ass by most people and have been trying to change that but it seems to be too far gone now. Only the people that know me know I am not a complete jerk off. Everyone else, I’m sure, has some opinion. But as to what that is, I am completely in the dark. I have (almost) no problem admitting that I have/will steal things, and this is completely shunned upon by the majority of the world, and that is expected. But they don’t look deeper; all they see is that I steal. What’s the hurt stealing from a crook? I won’t steal from girls, kids, poor people, mentally handicap people, anyone that’s in a similar situation as I, or anyone I see as a generally nice person. If you are making an effort to better yourself, I won’t steal from you. I won’t steal from people that I will be in constant contact with, regardless the nature of the person. I am VERY choosy as far as whom I steal from. Strictly crooks, no one else. And not even petty thieves, because I don’t really consider them to be a threat to society. What harm am I doing to society by giving criminals the same thing they give to innocent people? The only people I have stolen from have been outright, complete criminals. And i will never, ever hit a woman. The day I hit a girl is the day I put a gun in my mouth. And I can only remember calling a girl a bitch once, and I apologized almost immediately afterwards. But that is the side people don’t see to me, though. And that sucks because it is affecting me, one way or another. I never used to let what other people thought about me affect me; I used to just say “fuck em”. Now, I’m growing away from that attitude and trying to be nicer to people, and it is happening (in my eyes) but I am, like I said earlier, still in the dark as to peoples real opinions.

Another

I wanna roll away with life, and get away from things, cuz the more I realize and the more I learn, the less appealing it all is. Everywhere you look, there’s death, there’s famine, there’s petty bullshit pitting entire races against each other. That’s not the way it’s meant to be. If it is, so be it. But it will just be something I will never agree with.
If people realized what they are contributing too each day, a lot of things would change. I’m more than sure problems would still exist, but on such a large scale? I doubt it. I’m guessing a lot of the problems that arise today are caused, in one way or another, by selfishness and greed. Sure, I am a very greedy person, but I am not nearly as selfish as a lot of assholes who are causing these problems. Everyday, thousands of people get laid off. Everyone thinks it’s because of a bad economy, and that is not a lie. But the people who order the jobs to be cut (the CEO’s and owners) most definitely have enough money to fall back on, even after a few months of losses. But they would (understandably) rather cut their “expenses” even though that may be that particular worker’s livelihood. How is he/she supposed to feed his/her kids now that he has no income? Meanwhile, that CEO is rolling around in a Bentley or Benz, and living in a multi-million dollar estate in the hills of California. Bullshit. There’s little kids selling drugs so they can feed themselves, there’s adults selling drugs to little kids. What’s up with that shit? Fuck this, I’m giving up stealing. I just realized how much bullshit I have added to this mess. The only people I stole from were criminals themselves, so I never really felt any remorse. I am not hurting society by stealing from crooks, but since I steal, that makes me a crook myself and thus open to the same theft I am condoning. That will just breed more criminals. It’s not just corporate corruption that makes me tick anymore, because I used to be like “business is business” and my mentality was “gotta get the money”. Now I realize how fucked up it is and I have this bad feeling because of things I used to condone. Now I realize why people think I am an asshole. It all makes perfect sense. While people were sitting there blatantly disagreeing with things that I should have known were wrong, I was getting my jollies off defending those same things. Its all hitting me now that I think about these things.