First off, I have pictures which I'll post at the bdominia mailing list page on Yahoo! once I finish off the roll (I have about 10 pictures left on it.)

Saturday:

So the plan was for Az and URMage to stay over my house Saturday night, play in the tourney on Sunday, then go home afterwards. I get to Penn Station an hour before them to meet them when they get off the train. Too bad the train was then delayed another half hour. That wasn't too bad since I had The Onion and a train station full of newsstands to keep me busy. We meet at Customer Service and head out. Az called up his mom to allay her fears that I will kidnap him. We walked in a circle outside MSG because I forgot which exit we left out of. After getting our bearings back, we got some lunch and headed to Neutral Ground.

We playtest for a bit. I learn the following things:

a) Misdirection and Teferi's Response are some annoying for Into the Void
b) Nether Void rapes Rubber Farce. I mean like I won 5 unsideboarded games in a row.
c) URMage sure does suck at splitting FoFs

We eventually grew tired of that and headed up to WWF New York for some dinner. There was a shirt in the gift shop endorsing "Jerichohol" which I thought was pretty damn cool. Over dinner we discuss Dickhead-esque plans to finish our tournament preparations with a visit to a strip club. Except we forgot about that by the time we left. Boo. I was looking forward to pulling a Truc Bui and trying to tip a dancer with a Cursed Scroll.

After getting back, the option was available to go to a party that I knew about. That was nixed because:

a) Azhrei doesn't drink
b) Both of them had no sleep
c) URMage had driven for like 10 hours
d) They wouldn't know anyone there

From what I found out today, it was a standard bacchanal. And one girl I work with at camp knocked over a planter and needed stiches in her foot, forcing her to miss today and leaving me to deal with Scrotum Bracelet Boy alone. Boy do I fucking hate that kid. Today he couldn't put his underwear on right. So every time I told him to try again, he would first run around naked. I got to the point where I screamed "MIKE, STOP CAVORTING AROUND THE LOCKER ROOM NAKED AND STICKING YOUR SCHLONG IN EVERYONE'S FACE!!!!"

We playtest anyway and URMage still fails to properly split a FoF. While playing Az says "Hmm, what should our theme song for the weekend be?" I go with "I know Finkel already used it, but how about 'It's Raining Men?'" Well, I guess that I can answer that now by saying it's definetly "Where is My Mind?" by The Pixies. Anyway, we got bored of playing (in addition to being mad tired) and get some sleep.

Sunday:

I wake up at a reasonable hour and find that my Mom has made us a big breakfast with french toast, sausage, and the like. Mmmm, gassy! My wiener dog kept begging for some (you can't have a Wakefieldian report without mentioning your dog!) We leave to catch the 10:30 train into Penn. We get on the train...and so does my Dad, because I forgot the camera and he brought it.

Where is my mind?

Then while riding the train I noticed that I forgot my lucky Pokemon hat as well.

Where is my mind?

Anyway, we step off the train and start walking when I hear "Hey JP!" Well lo and behold, it's Legend and Negator! Everyone was quite civil actually, discussing Blood Moon/Price of Progress. However, Negator was like "Actually, I think the best deck for this metagame is Rebels." That was the dumbest thing I've heard since well, the day before. See if you can figure out what it was.

We arrive at Neutral Ground a few minutes before it opens. We start shuffling, filling out deck reg sheets, and take a couple pictures. Here's what I filled out on my deck reg sheet:

Deck Name: Into the Void
Deck Archetype: Nether Void
Deck Sub-type: Aggro-Void
Deck Comments: This deck is SOME savage beats

17 Swamp
4 Wasteland
1 Strip Mine

4 Hypnotic Specter
4 Phyrexian Negator

4 Duress
4 Sinkhole
4 Icequake
4 Hymn to Tourach
4 Dark Ritual
4 Powder Keg
2 Nether Void
1 Yawgmoth's Will
1 Necropotence
1 Demonic Tutor
1 Demonic Consultation

SB:
4 Spinning Darkness
4 Dystopia
3 Masticore
2 Diabolic Edict
1 Vampiric Tutor
1 Swamp

I loan out some cards also. I practically give Redman my Parfait deck, as his is full of white-boardered jankiness. URMage gets an Alpha Regrowth, a Forsaken Wastes, a Badlands (which I traded to him for 2 Meddling Mages,) and a German Wheel of Fortune. I also loan a friend of Redman's the Mana Drains and an Underground Sea for OSE. I gave CooberP a black-boardered Mystical to replace his janky Sixth Edition one. I was going to wait before I loaned out the Wheel and SB cards to URMage since I was expecting another member of Team Rock and Roll Friends (Rock and Roll Friends/Check each others' books back in/Rock and Roll Friends/Do each others' tax returns!) but he never showed. They all want to go to next week's tourney though. Except they have a grand total of like 1 sanctioned Type 1 tourney among them.

Now, onto the tournament!

Round 1--Eric Wilkinson (Keeper)

I seriously play Eric in the first round of every Type 1 tourney I play in. I disrupt him early but can't find a creature. He gets Sylvan relatively early and pays the life a few times. I have hit his fairly hard and drop a Hypno which hits him a few times. When he hits 6 I drop a Negator. He fails to find an answer.

I side in Dystopia and Edict

I drop a Hypno early. He drops CoP:Black and stalls me for a few turns. I cast Dystopia to take out his CoP, his Sacred Ground, and his Moat. I leave it in play to finish off his precious Sylvan and cast Nether Void asking for the concession. But he peels Aura Fracture off the top and takes out both the Void and the Dystopia (after I pay the life, of course.) I have been whittling him down with the same Hypno though and eventually finish him off with it.

Round 2--Chris Brellochs (Draw-Go)

Chris is the guy that looks like the Soldevi Heretic whose name Matt couldn't remember.

I see a first turn Island and pump the fist--until he starts casting mean stuff like Force Spike, Brainstorm, and Misdirection. I still manage to disrupt him and hit him down quickly with a Negator and a Hypno. But then he topdecks Morphling and casts it. I think the game is lost but I count the mana--he's exactly one mana short of being able to kill my Negator and have his Morphling live. I attack with both, dropping him to 1. He doesn't draw another Morphling.

I side in the Swamp and the Edicts

I get in two fast hits with a Negator before he Kegs it and drops Morphling. It's his only card in hand however and I Edict it. I Will out the Negator, a Sinkhole, and a Hymn. He Kegs the Negator. I Consult for a Hypno (card number 12 I believe) and start applying pressure. But he gets a Morphling at 4 life to stabilize (I lost my other Edict on the Consult.)

Now, before you all diss Consult, think of this: I had him at 10 from the Negator and got in 3 hits from the Hypno before he dropped Morphling. Had I not Consulted, he would have dropped Morphling and killed me before I got the Edict anyway, as it was card #11. Also, I did not Consult for Negator since I had drawn 3 of them (2 were countered and 1 was Kegged away.) In fact, Negator #4 was the fifth card on my Consult.

He OWNED me third game. I go turn 1 Duress, taking Force Spike over Mana Drain. He drops an Island and says go. I attempt a Sinkhole. He Brainstorms in response and finds a Misdirection! He then plays Strip Mine on my remaining Swamp. I don't draw a land for a while and he eventually beats the crap out of me with a Masticore.

After the match I he tells me "Since I knew black was my worst matchup, I tweaked the deck against it." It paid off.

I meet up with CooberP to get my infamous lunch. We arrive back WAY late, much to our surprise. I mean, I was playing a fast black deck and I got McDonald's. How much time could that take? Anyway, I was supposed to play Christian Grim (the Keeper player whose name Matt also forgot) which I considered a favorable matchup.

Where is my mind?

I still forgave CooberP and we played some games to pass the time. Then pairings were put up so I picked up my deck and ran over to check the pairings.

Round 3--Matt Boccio (Sligh)

He shuffle up and I have a strong hand with Consult, Sinkhole x2, Hymn, and land. I lay a Swamp and say go. He drops a Pup. I Sinkhole his Mountain. He attacks and drops a Cadet. I lay Swamp #3 and Consult for a Keg. My fourth card was a Dystopia. Shit! I forgot to de-sideboard properly! I do the right thing and scoop up my cards and call over Steve the judge. He gave me a game loss for that and allowed me to sideboard.

I side out the Negators, Necro, and Will for 4 Spins and 3 Cores.

I get hit early by some Pups before I Spin a Ball Lightning. I have however killed a few lands and Hymned him. I ended up eating a Ball Lightning and a Guerilla Tactics (which was the only card I could take with a Duress. However, I Kegged away his threats, Ritualed out a Hypno and a Nether Void. I kept him well below the 4 lands he needed to do anything. After dropping a Masticore (since I didn't want to risk my Hypno hitting a Guerilla Tactics since I was at 3 life) he conceded.

I lost game 3 because he was mana-screwed! What happened was that I went Hymn, Sinkhole--but he didn't play another land so I could Sinkhole that and have enough mana for Spinning Darkness! I also didn't draw a Keg to stop his 2 remaining Pups.

Round 5--Max Tietze (Turbo Oppression)

His deck was like a bad Type 2 deck with Badlands and Hymns. I Keg away Scrolls, see no threats other than Pyre Zombie (?!) and the afforementioned Scrolls, and wreck his land. I drop Nether Void and pretty much shut down his whole deck and kill with a pair of Negators.

I don't side anything.

Game two was the same thing.

After that I played a bunch of fun games. I played against Will the Walking Dude for a few games with Wild Parfait. I get one turn away from killing him before he goes infinite. If I knew what I were doing, I could have easily stopped him by Aura'ing his Horn of Greed and Replenishing my 2 Auras back, hitting his other Horn and an Exploration. He loves the deck so I loan it to him so he can play some fun games with it. I got into a bickering match with Matt regarding Stacker vs. Keeper. I try to prove to him that Stacker reams Keeper, but it's to no avail. To settle it, Steven Sadin fires up a deck map for Stacker. But I'm horrible with deck maps and Stacker is particularly annoying to play this way due to the number of one-ofs in the deck. We order the same tight Vietnamese food that the Type 1 dudes always get. I signed Vincent Pau's Duresses and Will the Walking Dude's Flesh Reavers (one says "Side me out against Sligh," another says "Side me out against Stompy," and the third says "Side me out against Zoo."

The 4pm tourney got pushed back to 9pm. I get _this_ close to convincing Vincent Pau (who says he'll be on BD soon) to switch decks with me (he'd play Nether Void and I'd play Keeper) but he decides against it.

Round 1--Will (the Walking Dude) Murray (Turbo-Land)

Oh shit. A deck that has 26 land and plays 2 of them a turn.

So you lost right?

No, I won.

Holy Pikula!

I always wondered where that came from.

Anyway, I was able to hit his hand hard and drop a Hypno for pressure. A Horn of Greed resolved, but for like 4-5 turns I drew a land, played it, drew an LD card and blew up one of his lands. I thought he would power out when he got down a second Exploration and drew land a few times. But a Negator joined the Hypno to finish him off.

I sided in Dystopia

I don't remember the details, but this game followed much like the first. I do remember hitting a lull in the early game when he Misdirected a Sinkhole and Strip'ed a Swamp, leaving me with no land in play. This, combined with the way the first game went caused me to say "Hmm, you're the LD deck and I'm the TurboLand player. Whodathunkit?"

Negator left after that round, but before he did he said to me "I'm going to write the most scathing report ever on BD because everyone but you, Will, and Matt will get so pissed off by it."

Round 2--Vincent Somethingorother (sorry I forgot your name) (U/G Magpile)

His deck is slow and I hit his stuff hard and fast. We hit a lull and I drop Necro and he drops Thieving Magpie which hits me about half a dozen times, negating my card advantage somewhat. But that's a slower clock than a Negator, which I drop and run into his Rainbow Efreet every turn. Whatever, I have a ton of Swamps and finish him off easily.

I side in Edicts

This game he gets out a Masticore. I keep his land low enough so that he can't do much harm with it and needs to keep it to block my Negator. I Hymn him brining him down to one card in hand. My Hypno takes that one out, since he only had 3 mana and couldn't shoot him. Negator ended it.

Round 4--Eric Wilkinson (Keeper)

It's nearly midnight now. I can't remember what's going on during these games other than the fact that he won 2-1 and we both made horrendous mistakes the whole time, such as his forgetting about having a Mana Drain in his graveyard when he willed, allowing me to remove his second Morphling from the game with an Edict.

Round 4--Ray Lambert AKA Lambchop (Keeper)

Neutral Ground threw us out since it was so late by now so we didn't play.

I walked back to Penn and sat around waiting for the next train. It finally came and was direct so I put on my headphones and listened to Alice in Chains. Summer camp taught me three good things in 1994:

a) How to play Magic
b) Alice in Chains is good to put yourself to sleep with
c) e^ip=-1

Props:
Neutral Ground for actually having Type 1 tourneys
Azhrei and URMage for being cool
My mom for making us french toast
All of my opponents for being cool, but espescially Matt Boccio for not attempting to rules lawyer me into a match loss when I scooped up my cards when I failed to de-sideboard. Congrat's on JSS Nats too.
Legend for winning the whole thing
CooberP for the Aura Fracture tech
Eric for always putting up with my trash talking

Slops:
Negator for being a wiener. Not a dick (which to me denotes being mean as well as annoying,) but a wiener (which denotes to me being annoying because that's just the way you are.)
Dave Kaplan for trying to rules lawyer almost everyone he played and annoying Matt and Christian during their match.
CooberP for making me miss round 3 (just kidding! I forgive you!)

Trivia!

1. According to Azhrei, what is the primary drawing engine in Mirrors?

a) Sylvan/Abundance
b) Bind/Gaea's Blessing
c) Sylvan/Pursuit of Knowledge
d) Jayemdae Tome

2. What is my dog's name?

a) Spanky
b) Wiener
c) Oscar
d) Lil' Miser

3. Why is CooberP a bad player?

a) He Regrew Stroke instead of Ivory Mask against Turbo-Oppression
b) He hasn't been playing long
c) Keeper is a difficult deck to play
d) All of the above

4. What deck was Matt _this_ close to playing?

a) Old School Expulsion
b) Dark Keeper
c) Mafia King
d) Stacker 2

5. Which of the following did I not list among my greatest plays of all time?

a) Long's Kaervek's Spite against Finkel at PTNY '97
b) Steve OMS' Charm School against Gary Wise
c) Mark LePine's no-land hand at World's 99
d) Finkel's Obliterate-Will at the 2001 Invitational

6. Which was the most common slang phrase I uttered during the tourney?

a) I'M COMING OUT OF THE BOOTH!
b) Mise!
c) Swing with tight men!
d) KOLDERSON GOT YA!

7. According to Negator, what disease wass Azhrei suffering from?

a) Bitchitis
b) Kolderson's Disease
c) Azhrria
d) Wiener Syndrome

8. What is my prefered name for Legend Blue?

a) BBS
b) Legend Blue
c) Turbo B2B
d) XL-U

9. How many GAMES did Team Negator beat Team BD?

a) 1
b) 4
c) 8
d) 10

Answers:

1-b, 2-c, 3-d, 4-a, 5-d, 6-a, 7-c, 8-c, 9-1