Top Submissions -- March 10, 1998

Beyond Dominia: Magic Joke Collection: Top New Submissions

Exploring the humorous side of the world's most collectable card game

Top New Submissions

Listed below are the best submissions received between March 1997, and August 2000. Every couple of months, or whenever possible, we'll bring to you the best new Magic nicknames, "you've been playing Magic too long" jokes, cool/funny card creations, and some of the stuff that would fit only in an "Other" category, but was still funny enough to put here...

Best Nickname Submissions
Circle of Protection: Artifacts
Bomb Shelter
Submitted by J. Edward Bridgam
Feldon's Cane
The Recycling Program
Submitted by Andrew Brinkley
Kjeldoran Frostbeast
Popsicle gone bad
Submitted by Phil Drisdelle
Mtenda Griffin
Return of the Griffin
Submitted by DiS
Nevinyrral's Disk
Tim's Rampage
Submitted by Phil Garwood
Nicol Bolas
Book Wyrm
Submitted by John Peacock
The Kite
Submitted by Andrew Brinkley
Reveka, Wizard Savant
Old Mother Tim
Submitted by A.Alexander
Teferi's Isle
Submitted by Kyle Holbrook
Teferi's Puzzle Box
Rubix Cube
Submitted by Rob Bob

Best "You've been playing Magic too long when..." Jokes

you and your friend argue over who is better looking... Serra Angel or Fire Elemental

You play so often that every Magic player in town knows EXACTLY which deck you're playing as soon as the first land hits the table.

When your car gets stolen you say:"Thank god my cards weren't in there!!!"

You start wondering what sort of creature you'd be, or at least what your power/toughness would be if you were.

When you roll up and smoke a Thallid to see if you start trippin'.
Elmer Egorger

If you find yourself wishing for an Orcish Spy in BlackJack or a Braingeyeser in Uno
Steve Lewis

You go to tournaments to pick girls up
MAD Squirrel


Best Cool/Funny Card Creations

Bridgekeeper - Black Summon [2BB] 1/1

Tap : Sacrifice Bridgekeeper to destroy target Bridge of Death. Bridgekeeper may not be blocked by the Knights of the Round Table or King Arthur. "Wait a minute! I don't know that! Aaaaaaaaaaa!" -- The Bridgekeeper

Submitted by Elmer Egorger

I Can't Believe It's An Artifact! - Mono Artifact [4 colorless]

When "I Can't Believe It's An Artifact" is cast, you must prove that this card is an artifact and that it has 30% less fat and calories than normal artifacts.

Tap : All non- "I Can't Believe It's An Artifact" artifacts in play are destroyed.

"Do you think I'm fat? I shouldn't eat this piece of cake!" -- Serra Angel

Submitted by Sloppy

The O.J. Simpson Defense - Red Instant [2RR]

Play After Defense is Chosen.

Target Oppenent's blocking creatures are all sent to the graveyard. All Attacking creatures phase out.


Submitted by John Christian

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