1 : You make a web page about playing too much Magic...
Innate Mak
2 : When you find yourself submitting inane jokes about magic to pages with the title.
Hierophant
3 : When you find yourself checking that same page the very next day to see if your joke got published.
Hierophant
4 : You know you have been playing too long when the Sun comes up.
Eric Kennedy
5 : You know you have been playing Magic too long when you find a thallid growing under your toenail.
Jason Aycock
6 : You refer to a baby tree as a "saproling".
Michael Wolfe
7 : When you find yourself strangely attracted to Ramirez DiPietro of the Cuombajj Withces.
Mickey Blake
8 : You wonder what Amrou Kithkin's phone number is.
anonymous
9 : When you threaten someone with "Don't make me lightning bolt you!"
anonymous
10 : When you order a Chef's Thallid instead of a Chef's Salad.
Cole Bozman
11 : At the dinner table when someone asks you for a Fork you say no, I need it for my red deck.
Aragon
12 : During a Science class discussion your teacher asks you what the name of the skull is you say , Chromium, a 7/7 elder dragon.
Aragon
13 : When you watch the little mermaid you wonder where the War Barges and Merfolk Assasins are.
Aragon
14 : On BBS's you find yourself choosing MISHRA as a nickname
Aragon
15 : When you get in trouble with your parents you say, "I'll just fog them"
Aragon
16 : When you get home during spring break and you don't unpack for a week because you're too busy playing magic.
Aragon
17 : While reading "The Hobbit" all you can think of is how cool Smaug would be on a Magic card
Aragon
18 : You name your fish Urza and Mishra
Aragon
19 : You refer to moves in chess as "tapping."
HatTrick
20 : When you name your orcs/elves/thallids, etc.
Kazakah the Mighty Sneeze
21 : When you get in a fight, point and yell lightning bolt... and are amazed when nothing happens
Lance Druger
22 : When you want to ask your friend if he wants to hang out on Friday night and all you can say is, "Done!"
Phil
23 : When someone asks you for money and you say "Can't, I'm all tapped out."
Adric James MacAndrew
24 : When you finish any chore you tap the table and say "Done"
Annie Somerson
25 : When you refer to the judge as the Hand of justice.
Heroin
26 : You start making up corny jokes about it.
Alexander Goedicke
27 : You wonder if Santa Claus uses Arcum's Sleigh.
Alexander Goedicke
28 : You wish you were going out with Fire Elemental.
Alexander Goedicke
29 : You decide you need to tap your girlfriend to activate her special abilities.
Alexander Goedicke
30 : When you try tapping your Over Power cards, You call a "full moon" a Bad Moon.
Craig Hampton
31 : You play too much magic when you are getting beat up you wonder where your Force of Nature is.
Anonymous
32 : You can no longer afford your drug habit.
Anonymous
33 : WHEN YOU BEGIN TO SEE RICHARD GARFIELD AS A GOD
PARANO
34 : When you think on playing Armageddon when your parents tell you to clean your room
Oscar Balcazar
35 : When you try making nicknames for all you friends from magic cards on there appearances.
Greebo
36 : You know you've been playing Magic too much when you have a fever and believe you are suffering from Mana Burn.
Uvatha
37 : Your friends consider you to be on card crack
Fean
38 : When someone tells you to get a life and you ask, "how much mana will that cost?"
39 : When you stop at a red light and try to Sleight of Mind it green.
Ragnarok
40 : You go out in the garden to pick Black Lotuses.
The Incredible Mr.Thrull
41 : When you carry them arond EVERYWARE you go and break into hives when someone says thay say thay don`t want to play.
Rachel Miller
42 : When you are playing a normal card game and you try to tap them.
andy kidwell
43 : When you get beat up and try to drink blessed wine
andy kidwell
44 : When somebody is attaking you, you try to create a CoP.
Purpl Tentacl
45 : You try to feed your little brother to the Lord of the Pit
Jerry Ussery
46 : You take up Satan worshiping because you want three black mana
Jerry Ussery
47 : You are afraid to eat eggs for breakfast because you are afraid they might be baby Rukhs.
Jerry Ussery
48 : You try to clean your room by casting Hurkyls Recall.
Jerry Ussery
49 : You mow your lawn every day to keep Thallids away.
Jerry Ussery
50 : You think that Gaea's Liege looks like your grandfather.
Jerry Ussery
51 : You build bird houses for Whipporwills.
Jerry Ussery
52 : You ALWAYS carry a counterspell.
Jerry Ussery
53 : You know a guy named Urza.
Jerry Ussery
54 : You send letters to Richard Garfield about how cool he is hoping he'll send you a Black Lotus
Jerry Ussery
55 : When you try asking the man on the Stench of Evil card if he wants a tic-tac.
Anonymous
56 : You describe your bounced check as having been counterspelled!
Chris Bloom
57 : When your friend tells you his mom's jewelry got stolen, and you think "I didn't know she had moxes".
Don Smith
58 : you start making theme decks based on movies
Jason Wells
59 : When all your geek friends are busy, you play Magic by yourself.
Kevin Schmidt
60 : When your girlfriend begs you to come to bed, and you say, "I'm busy making a new deck, leave me alone!"
Kevin Schmidt
61 : You refuse to tap a keg of beer, for fear of mana burn.
Kevin Schmidt
62 : You decide you need a calculator to figure out how many lands to put in your deck.
Kevin Schmidt
63 : You're so desparate to get a millstone you steal one from a mill.
Larz
64 : you refer to moles as goblin digging teams.
levvy
65 : When You Ask Richard Garfield To Stop Beating The Crap Out Of That Damn Doll In The Black Vise Card.
Scott Lindquist
66 : You give names to your decks and talk with them.
Purpl Tentacl
67 : Whenever you finish a question on a test at school you tap the book.
Alan Fraser
68 : You find yourself at joke 67 and are saying to yourself "why is that funny? I mean , they all happened to me and nobody laughed!"
Dean DiPietro
69 : You go outside in the rain and reach for a C.O.P. blue.
Dean DiPietro
70 : You decide to walk to the card store just so you have more money to buy cards.
ACE Spaid
71 : :You run to the card store every day, just to see if the new expansion set has arrived.
ACE Spaid
72 : You begin to classify cards by their artists.
Anonymous
73 : You start every conversation with "Have I got a card combination for you!"
Anonymous
74 : When you try to magical hack forrest gump into plains gump
B.Zubrowski
75 : You call your girl-friend "my sweet Serra Angel"
King Blind
76 : You carry a CoP red with you in Aspen, CO for fear of the Goblin Ski Patrol
Kenneth Blaha
77 : When you wake up in the morning trying to cast unsummon on your alarm clock
Thomas Egense
78 : Wizards of the Coast uses your tournament deck as the new Restricted List
Jeff Dubin
79 : You realize that you are going to have no life, regardless of how much mana you posses
AK47
80 : when you destroy an entire forest for three red mana(orcish lumberjacks)
Lance Tailor
81 : You've been playin too much when: You dress up in Cosmic Horror cards for Halloween
Ralph "MAGIC" Nelson
82 : You are being beaten up by a bully and try to use fear on yourself
Ralph "MAGIC" Nelson
83 : It is hot outside and try to use Phantasmal Terrain to turn your town into snow-covered plains
Ralph "MAGIC" Nelson
84 : You write a check on June 4th, then say to your self, "Maybe a Craw Giant would go good in my deck..."
Bryon Quick
85 : when someone hurts themselves and says something like "erg", and you instinctively say "Raiders".
David "Ryoga" Barney
86 : You try to impress your friends and use the Force of Nature to influence the weather.
Ghostwolf
87 : When someone says "Tap water" you are found flashing your Protection from Blue.
Ghostwolf
88 : You suddenly find yourself wondering how much mana you will get from tapping your own house.
Ghostwolf
89 : You "summon" a date for Friday night (hopefully the artist you pick does a good job?)
Ghostwolf
90 : You wonder if a "Authority Figure" (2/5) does against your "Misfit Student" (1/1)?
Ghostwolf
91 : In history, the topic "Ice Age" comes up and you are the first to raise your hand and lecture the infidels on the wonderful magical place of Dominia...
Ghostwolf
92 : In the same history class, you start arguing that "Ice Age" came before the "Dark" Ages and you have the deck dates to prove it...
Ghostwolf
93 : You start to grow your own Black Lotus...
Ghostwolf
94 : You combat your neighbors daily Stench of Evil with good deorderant...
Ghostwolf
95 : When you play AD&D 2nd ed., you cheat by using mana to cast your spells...
Ghostwolf
96 : You refer to family members as a "band"...
Ghostwolf
97 : Folks at family gatherings need to beat you at a fair game of Magic in order for you to do anything they request (honorable system of worthyness??)...
Ghostwolf
98 : People refer to you as the "Black Mage" as you pass by...
Ghostwolf
99 : You sign important documents as the "Black Mage" and people will *actually* know who you are!
Ghostwolf
100 : Comic book clerks will often revere to you and often give you discounts...
Ghostwolf
101 : When you have a little brother who's "buried" at the beach, you cry and frantically wonder if there's some way to tap the beach into reviving him...
Ghostwolf
102 : At the beach, you ask your friends if you can tap their Sandcastle when they're finished with it...
Ghostwolf
103 : You start to question if mother nature has better Regenerate cards than you do...
Ghostwolf
104 : When you're done with the dishes, you "Untap" "tapped water" and then put it away back into your deck...
Ghostwolf
105 : You go mountain climbing, bringing along with you a deck of Red cards so that you may hopefully "power" up your creatures while playing...
Ghostwolf
106 : You've been known to fill several football fields playing Magic for so long...
Ghostwolf
107 : You scoff at David Copperfield when people say, "He can do Magic"...
Ghostwolf
108 : When a plastic cup you decide to drink from becomes an artifact...
Ghostwolf
109 : When you want to get married, you hope the guy will propose to you with an Aladdin's Ring?
Ghostwolf
110 : King Arthurs "Excalibur" start to become your next coveted object of artifact...
Ghostwolf
111 : You fund expeditions for people trying to unearth "Uzra's Mine"...
Ghostwolf
112 : You go to church to ask God for a "Guardian Angel" to help you out in those times of need...
Ghostwolf
113 : In biology, you try to convert a rat into a card...
Ghostwolf
114 : You know the exact location of the fabled "Fountain of Youth" . . . in your shoe box.
Ghostwolf
115 : You notice that when you play Poker, all your cards have mysteriously become Magic cards...
Ghostwolf
116 : You enroll in "Tap Dancing" to learn how to use mana better...
Ghostwolf
117 : You play a video game called "The Secret of Mana" just to learn more about mana...
Ghostwolf
118 : You finally realize the horror that you can relate to MANY of the "You know you've been playing too much Magic when..." jokes...
Ghostwolf
119 : when people start referring to you as "the weird kid with no friends but those funny cards."
lex
120 : you take your ghost hounds out for a walk every night
labz
121 : you're afraid to go into the desert without your camel card
lex
122 : you won't put your rabid wombat into your deck because you're afraid it'll infect the other creatures
lex
123 : Bertrand Lestree asks you to help him get his deck down to 60 cards.
Jeff
124 : You tap and untap your pillow in your sleep.
Mal Adjuster
125 : Your little brother says he has a nightmare, and you ask if you could buy it from him.
Mal Adjuster
126 : You use the thallid devoirer and yell 'Thallid Shooter!'
Mal Adjuster
127 : You try to get Nicol Bolis to do your homework.
Mal Adjuster
128 : When you try to find a mox pearl necklace for your mom on mother's day.
Beck the Enchantress
129 : When you find yourself searching maps for Dominia
Beck the Enchantress
130 : When your tournament deck costs more than your house
Beck the Enchantress and Mark
131 : You know you've been playing to long when you submit jokes to foolish pages like this.
anonymous
132 : When your friend's pet hamster dies you wonder why she doesn't just use a Death Ward.
Beck the Enchantress
133 : When you are playing Uno and you wish for a Braingeyser.
MoisŽs SolŽ
134 : You start to look like the creature on your favorite card.(hopefully not the Hassan Ogress...)
Yisrael Peskowitz
135 : When your friends tell you to see a shrink and you tell them you already have one in your green deck.
Arrion
136 : You wish you were appointed a priest of The Order of Leitbur
CompuNerd
137 : Every movie you see gives you ideas for a new deck theme.
Anonymous
138 : You throw a chaos orb at people yelling "DIE"!
Kilshard
139 : When you attempt to dteremine the number of individuals you can play in multi player Magic solitaire.
Philosopher King
140 : When your favorite relative is Uncle Istvan!
The Four Horsemen
141 : You use Tobias Andrion to clean your teeth!
The Four Horsemen
142 : When you want to use Memory Lapse on your teacher so he forgets the homework assignment!
The Four Horsemen
143 : You know you've been playing Magic too much when you understand all of the jokes on this page.
Scott
144 : when Garfield does not mean a cat, and Tim is not just a name.
Auros the Golden One
145 : when your cards are worth more than you earn in a year.
Auros the Golden One
146 : when you have enough copies of those nifty cards that you don't need any proxies.
Auros the Golden One
147 : When you drive by a coffee shop and see a sign reading "Cappuchino blast" you can't help thinking "counters target cappuchino being cast....."
Treant
148 : You make a theme deck based on Doctor Who (let's see, 12 Regenerations....)
Rabid Child
149 : You Know you have been playing magic too long when you give your girlfriend a Mox for your aniversary
khisanth
150 : You read joke 123 and not only know who Bertrand Lestree is, but where he's from, what decks he uses, and what color shirt he always wears to tournaments!!!
Eric
This page is maintained by Umiak Boyd. Feel free to mail me any questions/comments....
